No freebies yet. . . maybe someday, when I figure out how to pull it off. Of course, for now, I could just give free advice, but then y'all would run from that, right! So, let me disguise it in a story, off the cuff, probably boring, but SHORT. (Yes, I now short from me, is for the most part, an awesome surprise! So, be surprised - and no this lead in doesn't count!) You can feel in the appropriate conversations, after all this is the short version.
Once upon a time, a mother allowed her young son a bit too much freedom of the mouth, with the best of intentions. Now, for the most part this turned out great! He was not afraid to speak up and be accounted for when really needed! (Cheers in the background, can you hear them? Of course not, this is not a podcast, that downloaded program is on procrastination hold!) However, as a teenager, he honed that freedom of the mouth to a teenage level (No, I won't explain, you already understand it. You've witnessed it enough in other's children -- and probably at least one valiant attempt from your own.) (Hear the boos? Still no podcast) This well-honed habit carried into young adult hood during phone conversations about frustrating (already) subjects, which lead to said mother's own elevated frustrating talk back. Of course, this lead to the expectation and living up (OK, down) to that level of expectation. One day said mother watched TV and learned from it. (Go figure! Who would have thought?) From then on said mother changed HER tone and attitude, based on the theory spouted on Starting Over, that changing yourself can actually make a difference in changing the other person in the relationship. Lo and behold - it worked! (And a lot quicker than she could have dreamed!!!) Their conversations are totally different now during the frustrating ones!!!!!!!! And tone and attitude does not escalate the original frustration. Who would have thought? Try it you just might like it! - The end. (or new beginning)
Note: TLC canceled Starting Over and "reality show" or not, as far-fetched as some of their exercises were, there was a lot of good in that show. It was amazing how much someone could learn just by watching.
20.4.07
Friday Free For All
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4 comments:
Hmmm... Tell me exactly how you changed your tone and attitude. I truly need help in that department having made the same freedom of speaking choice with my own oldest 16 yo son.
PS: I noticed your Nanowrimo button... I did that last year, too! It was my first time and I was able to write the first half of my faery tale. I am saving the second half for this year's nano.
It seems as if you were living my life a few years back.....hmmm, and I never even knew you were there! LOL. Great post!
I am currently working on the same issue as the mom in your story....this encouraged me today! I did nano last year for the first time last year too with sentient marrow and a group of other friends. This year I'm writing a book to be done by September so it's unlikely I'll be ready for another nano so soon but one never knows. Blessings today!
Sentiment Marrow; Martie: Tiadavidandourlittlechickens - I just didn't get caught up in his, kept calm rather than letting him draw me in to it, told him, I did not deserve to be spoken to like that, etc -- but it was my tone, I think for once I believed it, and said it quietly and gently - and mostly tried very hard NOT to react in kind. . . of course, he was in his twenties before I figured it out --- sigh. Thank you for commenting! There is a light at the end of the tunnel and y'all have a chance to get a shorter tunnel - but really, except for that he was a great kid. . . turned into a kind, decent man. YES!!!!!
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